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The Wedding from Hell/Script

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Written by: Greg Elliot and Michael Perricone

Season 1, Episode 06 Episode Number: 6

[Scene: Outside the Spencer's house. Allison is there. Elliot walks up to her holding a rose.]

Elliot: Mrs. Allison Spencer, I presume.

(She takes the rose off of him and smells it.)

Allison: You mean, Mrs. Allison Michaels-Spencer, don't you?

Elliot: You wanna be alone?

Allison: No.

Elliot: You're not getting cold feet are you?

Allison: No, Elliot, I am definitely not getting cold feet. I love you, you know that.

Elliot: But...

Allison: I don't know, it's just so overwhelming. I mean, after all these years of dreaming about us getting married, I just, I don't want anything bad to happen, that's all.

Elliot: I've got an idea. Let's elope.

Allison: Yeah, right, like your mum would really allow that.

(They kiss.)

Grace: Elliot?

Allison: Speak of the devil.

(Grace walks up to them.)

Elliot: Hi, mum.

Grace: I have been looking all over for you. Did you get the marriage certificate yet?

Elliot: Not yet.

Grace: Well, you have to. The wedding won't be legal without it.

Allison: We're going to City Hall tomorrow before the rehearsal dinner.

Grace: But why not go today?

Elliot: Mum, relax will you. Why are you so bent about this?

(Allison sees Jade standing near by.)

Allison: Who's that?

Grace: Oh, no.

Elliot: Who is it?

Grace: Someone I haven't seen for a long time. (Mrs. Spencer walks over to Jade.) What are you doing here?

Jade: What's the matter? Forget about our little pact?

Grace: No, Jade, but I was hoping that you did. My God, you haven't aged in twenty years.

Jade: You could've asked for eternal youth, Grace, instead of choosing wealth, power, all this. You've had a good life, haven't you?

(Kirsten walks up to them.)

Kirsten: Where to?

Jade: Oh, have the butler show you to our rooms. Tell him Mrs. Spencer was expecting us.

(Kirsten leaves.)

Grace: You can't just move in here. People will be suspicious. What will I say?

Jade: Say the truth. Say your son's had a change of heart. That was our deal remember? Don't worry, Elliot won't even know what you did until it's over.

(Jade uses her power and Elliot collapses on the ground.)

Allison: Elliot! Elliot! (Allison starts screaming.) Help me! No!

[Scene: One week later at the Manor. Prue knocks on the bathroom door.]

Prue: Piper, are you still in there?

[Cut in the bathroom. Piper's in there holding up a pregnancy test.]

Piper: I’m almost done.

Prue: Define almost.

Piper: Just give me another minute... or two.

Prue: You’re positive?

Piper: (whispering) I hope not.

Prue: Piper, I cannot be late today.

Piper: (whispering) I know the feeling.

Prue: My first biannual auction starts tomorrow and...

Prue, Piper: I want to do a good job.

Piper: Yes, I know.

Prue: So, can you hurry?

Piper: Just use the bathroom downstairs.

Prue: All my stuff is up here.

Piper: Well, borrow mine. It’s all down there.

Prue: But then... never mind.

(Prue leaves and Phoebe walks up to the bathroom. She knocks on the door.)

Phoebe: Piper?

Piper: I’ll be right out.

Phoebe: Is there any hot water left?

(Piper throws the pregnancy test box in the bin and opens the door.)

Piper: What?

Phoebe: Am I in for a cold shower? Yes or no?

Piper: At certain times in our life, a cold shower is probably a good thing.

Phoebe: Not three mornings in a row, it isn't.

(Piper leaves and Phoebe walks in the bathroom. She starts brushing her teeth and notices the box in the bin. She picks it up and has a premonition of a demon being born.)

Opening Credits

[Scene: Manor. Kitchen. Piper's there cooking some food. She gets a tray of hor’s d’oeuvres out of the oven. Prue walks in. The phone rings and Piper answers it.]

Piper: Hello? (listens) Okay, thanks. Bye.

(She hangs up.)

Prue: The three of us definitely need to figure out some kind of a morning schedule.

Piper: I think I’m gonna be sick.

Prue: In the upstairs or downstairs bathroom?

Piper: Maybe Phoebe can help me cater the Elliot Spencer wedding tomorrow.

Prue: Shouldn't you check with the chef who hired you first?

Prue: That would be Chef Moore.

Prue: Ah.

Piper: Who is on his way to France and since technically the contract is with Quake, he is off hook and I’m on the line. Now I have to tell one of the most richest families in the city that the chef they hired can’t do their wedding. They’re stuck with me and I hope they go for it.

Prue: Bright side? Who else can they hire in twenty-four hours? Piper, it’s not the end of the world.

(Phoebe walks in.)

Phoebe: What’s not the end of the world?

Prue: Piper’s problem.

Phoebe: Oh, you know too?

Prue: She just told me.

Piper: (to Phoebe) How do you know?

Phoebe: Oh, I...

Prue: Piper can definitely handle this. Frankly, I don’t even think anyone will notice.

Piper: (to Phoebe) I thought maybe you could help me.

Phoebe: Me? What can I do?

Piper: Pick up some supplies. Tie some bows. Offer moral support if I panic and freeze anything. Ten bucks an hour.

Prue: Ooh, I’d take it. Good luck with the wedding.

(Prue leaves.)

Piper: So, will you do it?

Phoebe: Yeah, sure.

Piper: Okay. Here’s a list of supplies I need. I’ll go to the Spencer Estate and you can meet me there at 1:00.

Phoebe: You and Prue were really just talking about a wedding?

Piper: Yeah, what did you think we were talking about?

Phoebe: Jeremy and his aftermath. You know, you slept with him.

Piper: Don’t ever mention that warlock’s name again. It is over. He’s in demon hell. End of story. Wedding yes, warlocks no. Am I clear? Good, because there is nothing in me that wants anything to do with Jeremy ever again.

(Piper walks out of the room and Phoebe picks up an hor’s d’oeuvres.)

Piper: (from other room) Don’t touch those.

(Phoebe puts it back.)

[Scene: Outside the Spencer’s house. Piper drives in the driveway and stops beside an intercom.]

Man's Voice: Yes, may I help you?

Piper: Uh, my name is Piper Halliwell, I'm the caterer.

Man's Voice: I have a Chef Moore listed as the caterer.

Piper: Yeah, there’s been changed.

Man's Voice: Sorry ma’am.

Piper: I’ve got ice sculptures melting over wedding cake. I’ve got to get in now.

Man's Voice: Someone will be with you in a moment.

(The gates open and two security guards walk down the driveway. A priest appears at Piper's window.)

Priest: Please, I have to get in into the compound. This is a matter of utmost importance. I must get in.

(The security guards grab the priest.)

Security Guard: Father Trask. We’ve been expecting you.

Piper: Hey, easy on the padre, buddy.

Security Guard: Go right ahead in, ma’am.

Priest: She is the bearer of the demon child. Beware Hecate.

Piper: (to herself) Hecate? Okay.

(She drives in.)

[Scene: Bucklands. Rex's office. Prue and Hannah are there looking at some items.]

Prue: It’s a Lassa warrior fertility goddess. Very rare and very powerful. The tribe believed that its mere presence would help a woman conceive.

Hannah: Hmm. You take it. My biological clock’s not the one that’s ticking.

(Rex walks in.)

Rex: Prue, your, um, sister’s here to see you. She’s waiting in your office.

Prue: Which sister?

Rex: The one who upon seeing your office, said, "Damn, I should go back to college."

Prue: Phoebe. Well, for once her timing’s good. The fertility icon has been catalogued.

Rex: I’m sorry. It’s, uh, no longer available. (Prue leaves.) Hannah. That was very careless of you. You should know for whom we acquired this.

Hannah: Look, her sister's catering the wedding. Prue won't even be there.

[Cut to Prue's office. Phoebe's sitting at Prue's desk talking on the phone. Prue walks in.]

Phoebe: Oh, gotta go. (She hangs up.) This place rocks. No wonder you never want to come home.

Prue: Get out of my chair.

(Phoebe stands up and picks up a notepad.)

Phoebe: I love too that you found time to scribble a morning shower schedule for we Halliwell sisters. I noticed that I’m last.

Prue: What are you doing here? I thought that you were helping Piper with the wedding.

Phoebe: I am but I need to talk to you.

Prue: You’ve got, uh, five minutes. Go.

Phoebe: Okay, uh, I had a vision this morning and in this vision a thing was being born, so I started to think back, oh, six, eight weeks ago...

Prue: Oh my God, you’re pregnant.

Phoebe: What?

Prue: That’s why you came back from New York, isn’t it?

Phoebe: No. But I shouldn't be surprised that you would think that. After all, I am the irresponsible sister, the black sheep who always screws up, the dark cloud over the Halliwell household.

Prue: Phoebe...

Phoebe: Okay, I’m not pregnant.

Prue: But then why...

Phoebe: Excuse me. I think I still have two more minutes. FYI, you have another sister who has had sex. Remember Jeremy? The guy who blew up in the attic? The warlock boyfriend? Think about it, Prue. Because it wasn’t me in that vision having the demon child. It was Piper. So, if you won’t believe me, you can believe my power.

[Scene: Outside the Spencer's house. Allison is there. Grace storms up to her.]

Grace: You have to stop calling here, Allison. Do you understand?

Allison: Do I understand? Are you kidding me? What the hell's going on? Why won't Elliot return any of my calls?

Grace: I can't explain right now.

Allison: You better damn well explain because I am not leaving here until you do. I have called the police, the sheriff, nobody will listen to me, nobody believes me.

Grace: I know how hard this must be...

Allison: Who is this Jade?

Grace: She's an old acquaintance of the family.

Allison: I don't believe that. Elliot would've told me about her.

Grace: There are many things about our family that you will never understand.

Allison: Then let Elliot explain it to me. If he's gonna marry somebody else I wanna hear it from him.

Grace: It's over Allison, that is all you need to know. Elliot doesn't love you anymore.

Allison: How can you say that?

Grace: I'm sorry. He's going to marry Jade D'Mon. Please don't ever call here again.

(She walks off.)

Commercial Break

[Scene: The Spencer’s house. Kitchen. Piper's there.]

Piper: (to a cook) Keep that at a simmer, not a boil.

(Piper walks over to the table and buries her face in her hands. Phoebe walks in carrying two bags of groceries.)

Phoebe: Hey, sis.

Piper: Finally. Did you get everything?

Phoebe: Most of it.

Piper (to a cook) No, wait. I’ve got buns in the oven.

Phoebe: (to herself) You’re not kidding.

Piper: Phoebe, I expected you over an hour ago. Where have you been?

Phoebe: I went to see Prue.

Piper: At the Auction House? That’s all the way down... what you were doing there?

Phoebe: Adding more bricks to the wall between us.

(The butler walks in.)

Butler: Mrs. Spencer and Miss D’Mon will see you now.

Piper: Miss D’Mon?

Butler: The bride... Jade D’Mon.

Piper: But I thought the bride’s name was Allison...

Butler: Does not like to be kept waiting.

Piper, Phoebe: (whispering) Okay.

[Cut to a room. Jade, Grace and a dress maker is there. Jade is wearing the wedding dress and the dress maker is pinning the bottom of it.]

Grace: Oh, my son is very lucky. You're going to be a beautiful bride, Jade.

Jade: Thank you, Grace.

(The butler, Piper and Phoebe walk in the room.)

Butler: Miss Piper Halliwell.

Phoebe: And her sister chopped liver.

Piper: Mrs. Spencer, it’s so nice of you to see me. (to Jade) Um, wow, your dress, it’s beautiful. I’d recognize the style anywhere. It’s a Shiro, isn’t it?

Jade: Is it?

Grace: How are things in the kitchen?

Piper: Um, right on schedule. The lobsters arrive tomorrow morning. The hors d’oeuvres are ready, Chef Moore is in France and the puff pastries are baking.

Jade: What?

Grace: Chef Moore’s gone?

Piper: Yeah. Um, I’ll be handling the catering.

Grace: Charles, get me my pill.

Jade: My wedding, it’s ruined.

Piper: Oh, my, no, no, I-I would never let that happen. I know you may have made the deal with Chef Moore but I have been involved with every step of the preparation. So if you’ll let me, I can guarantee a wedding that your children and grandchildren will talk about for generations.

Phoebe: Okay, okay. We don’t need to talk about children just yet. Look, you don’t know me. Hell, I barely know me. (She laughs. Grace and Jade stare at her.) Okay, I do know my sister and she is the best damn chef in this city. No one, and I do mean, no one puts the love and tender care that Piper puts into her cooking. So, you should not only be grateful that Chef Moore bagged out but you should consider yourselves lucky.

Jade: If there is even the slightest hitch, I will have your head. Kidding.

(Piper laughs nervously.)

Grace: Then it’s settled.

Piper: Uh, no. Actually there’s just one more thing, I need to confirm the party trays for the bachelor and bachelorette parties tonight. Um, it looks like no decision has been made yet about the type of deli sandwiches for the bachelor party.

Jade: Whatever you decide is fine.

Grace: I think my son can make any decisions about his own bachelor party.

Jade: Then we’ll ask him together.

Phoebe: I thought it was bad luck to see the bride before the... (Piper pinches Phoebe’s arm.) Ouch.

Piper: Come on.

(Piper and Phoebe walk out of the room. The dress maker continues pinning Jade's dress. Jade moves and the pin sticks straight into her skin. Jade doesn't even feel it. The dressmaker stops and stares at it in shock. Jade looks down at her.)

Jade: Is there a problem?

Dressmaker: No, no problem at all. (She pulls the pin out.) Uh, I-I'm finished.

Jade: Then go.

[Cut to outside the Spencer's house. Security guards are there.]

Security Guard #1: Hey, Darrin, get over here.

(Darrin runs over near a truck where the other security guards are standing.)

Darrin: What's the matter? What happened?

Security Guard #1: The priest, he got away from us.

Darrin: What? Check the perimeters. Go. (They run off.) (into his radio) All sectors code three. Father Trask is on the grounds. Find him.

(He leaves. You see Father Trask hiding inside the truck. He takes off his coat and puts on another coat. He then sticks the poingnard down his pants and gets out of the truck.)

[Cut back inside the house. Allison sneaks into Elliot's room. Elliot is laying on his bed reading a magazine. She sits on the bed.]

Allison: Oh, Elliot, what have they done to you. (He puts down his magazine and stares blankly at her.) Listen to me, Elliot. You can't go through with this wedding. Jade doesn't love you, she barely even knows you.

(Jade, Grace and Kirsten walks in.)

Jade: Well, if it isn't Allison.

Elliot: Allison?

Allison: Yes.

Jade: Don't just stand there, call security.

Grace: Of course.

Allison: Don't bother, I was just leaving.

(Allison stands up.)

Kirsten: Let me show you the door.

(They leave.)

[Cut to the hallway. The alarm is on. Piper and Phoebe are running down the hallway.]

Piper: Is that the alarm? What happened? (They run into the foyer. Father Trask walks past them.) Hey, that's the priest.

(Kirsten has a hold of Allison's arm and is pulling Allison down the stairs. Jade and Elliot are standing on the second looking over.)

Allison: Don't forget, Elliot. Remember what I said. It's not too late!

Elliot: Don't hurt Allison.

(Jade pulls Elliot back in his room.)

Jade: Get in here.

(Phoebe and Piper see Father Trask walking up the stairs with the poingnard in his hand. They run off.)

[Cut to Elliot's room. Jade is staring out the window. Father Trask walks in holding the poingnard up in front of him. Jade turns around.]

Jade: Father Trask.

Father Trask: I banish thee back to the underworld, Hecate.

Jade: Not today, Trask. (Kirsten appears behind him and turns into a demon. She grabs his head and snaps his neck.) Now get rid of him.

[Cut to the kitchen. Phoebe and Piper run up to a security guard.]

Piper: He's after the bride upstairs.

(They hear a smash and run outside.)

[Cut to outside. Father Trask is lying on the driveway.]

Commercial Break

[Scene: Outside Spencer’s House. Police have arrived. Phoebe, Piper and Allison are standing near by. Allison is crying. Piper hands her a tissue.]

Piper: Here you go.

Allison: Thanks.

Piper: No worries. This is all kind of freaky, huh?

Allison: You have no idea.

Phoebe: What my sister meant to say was, what is up with you and Elliot?

Piper: Phoebe...

Phoebe: You love him, don’t you?

Allison: With all my heart.

Phoebe: Okay, well, if that’s true, then why...

Allison: I’ve gotta go.

(She leaves.)

Piper: This is so sad. We have to do something.

Phoebe: Yeah, but what?

Piper: I don’t know. We’re good witches. It’s our job, right?

Phoebe: I wouldn’t be worrying about Allison’s problem just yet.

(Phoebe pats Piper's stomach.)

Piper: What the...?

[Cut to Andy and Morris. They are questioning Jade.]

Jade: How many times do I have to go through this?

Andy: Until I'm sure I understand. Did you say Trask chased you to the window?

Jade: Yes, with that big knife. He was saying the most horrific things. Crazy things. He lunged at me. I screamed and I ducked and the next thing I knew, he was dead. It was awful. Can I go now? Have like a million things to do before my wedding tomorrow.

Morris: Sure.

(She walks away.)

Andy: Sorry the dead man on your your driveway is such an inconvenience.

Morris: Welcome to the lifestyles of the rich and shameless.

Andy: Look at that window, Morris. Look where Trask landed. Tell me how anyone could jump that far.

Morris: That's why we get paid medium bucks. To figure it out.

[Cut inside the house. Grace and Kirsten are on the second floor.]

Grace: Kirsten, killing a priest is not part of our deal.

Kirsten: Word of advice. You keep your eyes closed and your mouth shut. In twenty-four hours Jade will be pregnant and all of this will be over.

(Kirsten turns to leave but Grace grabs her arm.)

Grace: If anything happens to my son Elliot.

Kirsten: You should've thought about that before you agreed to our arrangement. And let me remind you about one more thing, Mrs. Spencer, we're still on the second floor.

(She walks off.)

[Scene: Bucklands. Prue’s office. Prue's sitting at her desk. Rex walks in.]

Rex: You wanted to see me, Prue?

Prue: Yeah, I wanted to know what you wanted me to do with the fertility icon?

Rex: Uh, sorry?

Prue: Well, it’s the companion piece to the female icon. The one you didn’t want catalogued before.

Rex: Oh, right, yeah. Um, yeah, by all means, go ahead and tag this one for the auction. That particular client only wanted the female icon.

Prue: Okay.

Rex: It’s a wedding gift, actually. Quite an exquisite one at that, for the Spencer bride.

Prue: Spencer? Really? My sister’s catering that wedding.

Rex: Is she? Small world. Is that the sister that I met? Um, Phoebe?

Prue: No, I have another sister, Piper. Although Phoebe will be helping her out.

Rex: I see. And what about you then?

Prue: Me? I don’t do weddings.

Rex: I was just wondering how close you and your sisters were. Anyway, carry on.

[Cut to Rex's office. Hannah's there. Rex walks in.]

Hannah: Well?

Rex: Fortunately, you're right. Prue won't be in attendance.

Hannah: Hmm. Does that mean we can still go?

Rex: No, no, I'm afraid not, it's too risky. Don't pout, Hannah. I'm sure we can think of something to do. Perhaps we can go to a football match. And watch some players get injured. Huh?

[Cut back to Prue’s office. She's squatting on the floor holding the fertility icon. She's peeling a sticky tag off of its... you know. Andy walks in and sees what she's doing.]

Andy: I’ll come back when you’re alone.

(Prue puts the icon in its box.)

Prue: Uh, no. (She stands up.) It’s, it's okay, I’m finished. Somebody just put a sticky inventory tag on his... uh... on the, uh...

Andy: Artefact?

Prue: Yeah, yes. The artefact. I should know that word, shouldn’t I? (She sits down at her desk.) Uh, where is your, um...

Andy: Artefact? Right here.

(He shows her a large envelope that he's holding.)

Prue: May I?

Andy: It’s all yours. (He hands it to her.) It’s the knife I called you about. (She opens the envelope and pulls out the poingnard. She looks at it.) Thanks for seeing me on such short notice.

Prue: Anytime. I’m happy you called. This poingnard is exquisite. 14th century. Italian. (She reads the words engraved on the blade.) "Nec prius absistit quoad protero prodigium."

Andy: My Latin's a little rusty. Uh, "He shall not..."

Prue: "I shall not. I shall not rest until the demon is vanquished". Let me see what else I can find. (She searches through some stuff on her computer.) You found this at a crime scene?

Andy: It was on the victim.

Prue: What was on the suspect? Chain mail and a coat of armour?

Andy: It belonged to a priest. He was at the Grace Spencer estate.

Prue: Spencer estate? Piper’s catering a wedding there tomorrow.

Andy: I know. I saw her and Phoebe. Don’t worry, they’re fine.

(A picture of Hecate appears on the computer.)

Prue: This can't be a coincidence.

Andy: What?

(He leans over the table to have a look but Prue moves the computer so he can't see.)

Prue: Um, nothing. I’m just mumbling to myself. Do you mind if I keep this for a while? I would like to show it to Russell in armaments.

Andy: Sure. I checked it out so you could research it.

Prue: Right. I’ll call you.

(She stands up and leaves the room. Andy walks around the desk and has a look at the computer screen.)

[Scene: Manor. Kitchen. Phoebe's looking at a picture of Hecate in a book. Piper walks in holding a box of stuff.]

Piper: I knew I wasn’t crazy. Look at these matches. Look at these napkins. They all say "Allison and Elliot" not "Jade and Elliot".

Phoebe: That explains a lot.

Piper: And look at this. It’s Chef Moore’s contract for the wedding. Up top it says "The wedding of Allison Michaels and Elliot Spencer". Allison is supposed to marry Elliot tomorrow, not Jade.

Phoebe: That’s probably why she was crying. I wonder what happened?

Piper: Me too. Can you imagine watching the man you love marry somebody else?

Phoebe: No. Poor Allison.

Piper: Now we have to help her. We’re the only ones that know about this. We’re the only ones who can.

Phoebe: Okay, I can’t hold this in any longer. Your name isn’t Piper and that’s the good news. You’re really Hecate, Queen of the underworld. You’re pregnant with the demon child, which means, I’m afraid I have to kill you.

Piper: What?

Phoebe: Not to worry. You have plenty of time. I still have to find the jewelled poingnard to kill you with. See?

(She shows Piper a picture in the book. Prue walks in holding the poingnard.)

Prue: Are you talking about this?

Phoebe: The odds, Piper. What are the odds?

Piper: I’m not pregnant. Trust me.

Prue: Well, that’s good news.

Phoebe: Are you kidding? That’s great news. (She hugs Piper.) You can live. Wait. My vision...

Prue: Phoebe, what is it that you saw exactly?

Phoebe: Well, I-I saw the thing being born.

Prue: Did you see Piper?

Phoebe: Yes, I saw her legs.

Prue: Never saw her face?

Phoebe: No.

Piper: Hello, bickering sisters. I’m not pregnant but I am in the room. Phoebe, how did you know I took a pregnancy test?

Phoebe: I, uh, found the box in the bathroom.

Piper: You’re supposed to take the trash out, not dig through it.

Phoebe: Piper, it’s not like that.

Piper: We’re making those bathroom schedules now.

Prue: We have bigger problems to deal with. Cliffs notes version. The priest who was killed today, he belonged to a secret order pledged to stop Hecate.

Piper: Beware Hecate. That’s what the Father Trask said. Then he tried to kill Jade.

Prue: She’s a demon. She comes to earth every two hundred years. She has to find an innocent, put him under her spell, and marry him in a sanctified wedding.

Phoebe: That doesn't sound any different than most of the single women in this city.

Prue: She needs Elliot to impregnate her. That way her child would look normal on the outside but internally and mentally, her child would be pure demon.

Piper: This is huge. A child born into the wealth and power of the Spencer Family?

Prue: And I don’t think it’s a coincidence that you’re catering the wedding. I think it’s one of those things that we can kind of look forward to as protectors of the innocent.

Phoebe: Hmm...

Piper: Well, before we ruin the wedding and my career, let’s make sure we’re right about Jade.

[Scene: Spencer’s house. Prue, Piper and Phoebe are peeking through a window. Inside, Jade and her bridesmaids are sitting on a bed. Jade is opening presents. She holds up some lingerie.]

Jade: This should make his assets rise.

(They all giggle.)

Prue: Looks like a normal bachelorette party to me.

Piper: I don’t believe it. They’ve barely touched my food.

Prue: Piper...

Piper: Those deli trays took hours.

(Kirsten picks up the fertility icon.)

Kirsten: And you know who this is from. They understand how important it is for you to get pregnant right away.

(She hands it to Jade.)

Prue: Hey, I know that piece, it’s from the Auction House.

(Someone knocks on the door.)

Jade: Come in.

(The door opens and a stripper dressed as a pizza delivery guy walks in.)

Stripper: Hi. Pizza delivery.

Piper: They ordered Pizza? (The stripper gets a small tape player out of the pizza bag and turns it on. He starts dancing.) Oh, okay, now I feel better.

(The stripper starts removing his clothes.)

Kirsten: Mmm, he looks good enough to eat.

Jade: Good idea. (The women get off the bed and surround the stripper. They all touch him.) Girls, I'm the bride.

(She scratches the stripper on his chest with her long fingernails. He starts bleeding. He yells in pain.)

Commercial Break

[Scene: Manor. Conservatory. Prue, Piper and Phoebe are there.]

Prue: Somehow, we have to stop them.

Phoebe: So, there’s only one problem with our plan. We're assuming that Allison is gonna be a willing accomplice.

Piper: She still loves Elliot. You heard what she said.

Prue: And the Book of Shadows says that the spell can be broken by a declaration of love sealed with a kiss.

Piper: It’s so romantic. Just like a fairy tale. And once Elliot is out of her spell, Jade’s out of luck, no wedding, no honeymoon night.

Prue: No honeymoon, no sex and no sex, no monster child spending alternate weekends with daddy.

Phoebe: I still say we rely on our Power of Three thing and ix-nay the monster bride and her carnivorous bridesmaids.

Piper: Phoebe, we’re supposed to help people, not harm them.

Prue: And that’s exactly what we’re gonna do. You two will get Elliot, I’ll get Allison, and we’ll meet at the front of gate no later than 2:30. Everybody have their weapons?

(Piper grabs her phone, Prue grabs her phone and Phoebe grabs the poingnard.)

Prue: I’ll take that. (She takes the poingnard off of Phoebe.) Okay, so, it’s time to shower, shampoo and go kick some Hecate butt.

(Prue leaves the room.)

Phoebe: Did she just say shower?

Piper: She did, didn’t she?

Phoebe, Piper: Hot water!

(They chase after her.)

[Scene: Church. A room. Andy and Morris are there looking around. Morris is on the phone.]

Morris: Yeah, okay, thanks.

(He hangs up.)

Andy: M.E. report?

Morris: Mmm hmm. It is now officially a homicide. The priests neck was broken before he went out the window.

Andy: Told you.

Morris: So, what? Are you saying that a little one hundred and twenty pound busting bride tossed him out the window? I don't think so.

Andy: The security tapes from the estate will show who did it.

Morris: Yeah, that's a good idea.

(Morris gets a little notebook out of his coat pocket.)

Andy: Already had them sent to the station.

Morris: You did, did ya?

(They leave.)

[Scene: Manor. The doorbell rings. Prue walks in the foyer and opens the door.]

Prue: Allison Michaels?

Allison: Yes. Prue Halliwell?

Prue: Thanks for coming. Come in.

Allison: You said it was important. (Allison walks in and Prue closes the door. She shows Allison the napkin.) Where did you get this?

Prue: This won’t take long, I promise.

[Scene: Outside Spencer’s house. People are getting everything ready for the wedding. Phoebe and Piper are there.]

Piper: (to a guy) Oh, I’ll need those in the kitchen right away.

Guy: Yes, ma’am.

(A woman walks past them holding a tray of food.)

Piper: (to woman) No, no, no, no, no. Not in the sun, get an umbrella.

Phoebe: Okay, correct me if I’m wrong, but aren’t we trying to stop this wedding?

Piper: You’re right. I just can’t help myself.

Phoebe: Forget the food. Let’s go.

Piper: Okay.

[Scene: Manor. Conservatory. Prue and Allison are there.]

Allison: And everything was fine, right on schedule, until about, uh, six days ago. That’s when Jade appeared out of nowhere and started working at the Spencer family business. And before I could say "I do", I was out and she was in. End of story.

Prue: Did you talk to Elliot?

Allison: They wouldn’t even let me see him.

Prue: Not a big surprise.

Allison: It wouldn’t make any difference anyway. The Elliot I know, the Elliot I love, isn’t here anymore.

Prue: What if I told you Elliot isn’t himself because this woman has put him under a spell, so to speak. Allison, Elliot loves you, not Jade.

Allison: If that were true, I would be the one walking down the aisle today.

Prue: You still can be. All you have to do is crash your wedding.

Allison: What?

Prue: Look, it’s not that crazy. The man that you love is marrying somebody else. Don’t you want to do everything within your power to stop him?

Allison: This isn’t a fairy tale. Real life doesn’t work that away.

Prue: But what if you can get him back? Do you really wanna spend the rest of your life just wondering? In your heart of hearts, you must still love him.

Allison: I do. God, I really do.

Prue: Then let me help you.

Allison: But you don’t even know me. Why would you want to help me?

Prue: Have you ever seen that television show where there’s the woman who’s an angel and she helps strangers every week?

Allison: I love that show.

Prue: Don’t get too excited, I’m nothing like that. But, uh, my sisters and I, we have special gifts.

Allison: Gifts? What kind of gifts?

Prue: Ones you can’t return. Let’s just say we come from a very interesting family tree. Look, if you can, if you’ll trust me, we can bring you and Elliot together.

(Allison nods.)

[Scene: Spencer's house. Elliot's room. Grace and Elliot are there.]

Grace: Here we are. Finally. Your big day. (She touches his face.) Forgive me, son.

[Cut to the hallway. Phoebe and Piper are there. Kirsten comes out of a room.]

Piper: Stripper-eating bridesmaid ahead.

Phoebe: Keep walking.

Piper: Okay.

(They walk up to Kirsten.)

Phoebe: We need to talk to Mr. Spencer.

Kirsten: No ones sees the groom before the ceremony.

Piper: Actually that would be the bride. This’ll only take a minute.

Kirsten: What part of no did you not understand?

Piper: The non-original part?

(Mrs. Spencer comes out of the room.)

Grace: Is there a problem?

Phoebe: Ugh, don’t even get me started.

Piper: Could we talk to you for a sec? It’ll... you know, in private?

Grace: Certainly.

(Phoebe, Piper and Grace walk down the hallway.)

Grace: Is everything all right?

Piper: It’s about your son.

Grace: What’s wrong?

Piper: Well, he, um, he’s not supposed to marry Jade.

Grace: I know.

Phoebe: You do?

Mrs. Spencer: I know more than you could possibly imagine.

Piper: We can help him.

Grace: No one can help us. It’s too late.

Phoebe: No, we have a plan. We can stop the wedding.

Grace: (whispering) Go to the wine cellar. Wait for me there. I’ll join you in ten minutes. (Kirsten looks over at them.) (louder) I’m sorry, there’s nothing I can do for you.

(Phoebe and Piper walk off.)

[Cut to the wine cellar. Piper and Phoebe walk in.]

Piper: Did you hear that?

Phoebe: Not to worry, we still have thirty minutes before the wedding.

(Piper and Phoebe walk down the stairs. Two bridesmaids walk in and turn into demons.)

Piper: This is bad.

Phoebe: Real bad. Freeze them.

(Piper tries to freeze them.)

Piper: I’m trying. It’s not working.

Phoebe: Yes, it is. Look. (A fly is frozen in mid-air.) You froze the fly. You have to be closer to the object you’re trying to freeze.

Piper: Forget it. Run.

Commercial Break

[Scene: Police station. A police officer puts a box of security tapes on Andy and Morris's desk.]

Police officer: Here you go, Inspector.

(Morris picks up a video tape.)

Morris: Man, the Spencers sure go through a lot of security.

(Morris throws Andy the video tape.)

Andy: All those cameras should've picked up something around the time the priest was killed.

(Andy puts the tape in a VCR.)

[Scene: Outside Spencer’s House. Prue and Allison are standing there.]

Allison: It’s 2:40. Could we have missed them?

Prue: I hope not. Where are they?

[Cut to the wine cellar. Piper and Phoebe are sneaking around the room. Piper's phone rings. She quickly answers it.]

Piper: Hello?

Prue: Piper, where are you?

Piper: We’re down in the wine cellar. Help.

(Piper and Phoebe see the demons. They run away.)

[Cut to Jade's room. Grace, Jade and Kirsten are there. Jade is dressed in her wedding dress. Kirsten hands Jade a present.]

Kirsten: This is from me. Your something borrowed.

(Jade giggles and unwraps the present. It's a book.)

Jade: Faust. I love this. I read it the last time I was here. What about my something blue? (Kirsten looks over at Grace. Grace is crying.) You're right. Nothing's bluer than the heart of a mother giving away her only son.

(They giggle.)

[Cut back to the police station. Andy and Morris are watching the security tapes on the TV.]

Morris: It's just two women talking. You can't even hear them.

Andy: What, you don't read lips? (He leans forward.) Something, killing a priest wasn't part of our deal.

Morris: Man, you're good.

[Cut back to the Spencer's house. The wedding has started. Jade is walking down the aisle. She stands next to Elliot and they face the priest.]

Priest: Dearly beloved, we are gathered here today to celebrate this sacred union as we join this man and this woman in holy matrimony.

[Cut to the wine cellar. Piper and Phoebe run up the stairs. The demons follow them.]

Phoebe: Okay, they’re really close now. Freeze them.

Piper: Great.

(Piper freezes the demons. Prue comes in the wine cellar.)

Prue: Piper, Phoebe, duck! (They do so and Prue uses her power on the demons. They fly into some boxes.) Are you guys okay?

Phoebe: Uh, huh. Nice timing.

Piper: Where’s Allison?

Prue: Got her upstairs. Come on.

[Cut back to the wedding.]

Priest: If there’s anyone here who knows of a reason these two should not be joined, speak now or forever hold your peace.

Piper: We have a reason.

Allison: I love you, Elliot

Jade: Why, you little witch.

Piper: Hey!

Jade: By Asteria and Perses, open sky and do your worst! (to Elliot) You're coming with me.

(It gets very windy and stormy. Everyone starts running. Andy and Morris pull up in their car.)

Andy: Well, this is exciting. I wonder what's going on here?

[Cut to Elliot’s bedroom. Elliot and Jade are there. Jade turns into Hecate. Prue, Piper and Phoebe walk in. Three demons push them into the room.]

Prue: Alright, quick, we have to banish them back to the underworld. (Prue looks in her purse.) Uh, the poingnard, it's gone.

(Elliot picks the poingnard off of the floor.)

Phoebe: Elliot.

(The poingnard starts glowing.)

Piper: Prue, do something.

(Prue uses her power and the demons get sucked in the poingnard.)

Elliot: Whoever you three are, thank you.

Commercial Break

[Scene: Outside the Spencer's house. Elliot and Allison are together hugging and kissing. Prue, Piper and Phoebe are near by.]

Prue: We did that.

Phoebe: And they’ll live happily ever after.

Piper: I wonder if we will.

Prue: Of course, we will. Why shouldn’t we?

Piper: That’s easy for you to say. You’ll never greet your husband at the door with: "Honey, I think I froze the kids."

Prue: No, I’ve just accidentally moved them to another zip code.

Phoebe: But I will see them, find them, and bring them back safely. If I can ever learn to control my powers.

Piper: If any of us can.

Phoebe: Just think of the obstacles that Allison and Elliot have overcome. If they can do it, so can we.

Prue: I guess true love does conquer all.

Phoebe: Especially if you have separate bathrooms.

(They see Andy walking towards them.)

Piper: Speaking of true love...

Phoebe: Ooh.

Andy: Fancy seeing you here.

Prue: Yeah, isn’t it? (She holds up the poingnard.) Uh, I wanted to give this back to you. I’m finished with it.

Andy: How’d you know I’d be here?

(He takes it off of her.)

Prue: I didn’t. I was gonna drop it off after the wedding.

Andy: Aha, shall we talk about this in private, Prue?

(Andy puts his arm around Prue and they walk away.)

Phoebe: Do you believe in destiny?

(They giggle.)

Piper: He believes in destiny. Shh.


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