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|Witch Trial | Morality Bites | The Painted World | The Devil's Music | She's a Man, Baby, a Man! | That Old Black Magic | They're Everywhere | P3 H2O | Ms. Hellfire | Heartbreak City | Reckless Abandon | Awakened | Animal Pragmatism | Pardon My Past | Give Me a Sign | Murphy's Luck | How to Make a Quilt Out of Americans | Chick Flick | Ex Libris | Astral Monkey | Apocalypse, Not | Be Careful What You Witch For|
Written by: Javier Grillo-Marxuach
Season 2, Episode 11
Episode No. 33
[Scene: Manor. Solarium. Piper’s putting baby things in a basket. Prue comes in.]
Prue: Piper, have you seen slides anywhere?
Piper: By the TV.
Prue: Thank God. I thought that I lost them. Jack would’ve killed me.
(She gets the slides off the TV.)
Prue: The boss is sending two employees with the best presentation to New York for a conference, all expenses paid and Jack and I are hoping he picks us.
Piper: Are you gonna sleep with him?
Prue: Piper, it is just a business trip, that is all. Who’s the present for?
Piper: Lisa Kreegers baby shower.
Prue: I forgot.
Piper: I know. So did Phoebe. But I’m making it from all of us.
Prue: What’s all in here?
Piper: Stuff, and I just knitted her a little baby blanket, that’s all.
Prue: You knit? I didn’t know that you knit.
Piper: Yeah, and I even had some extra yarn left over and I made her a little bear to match. Kinda cute, huh?
(Piper holds up a cute little blue bear.)
Prue: Oh, hi, ooh, he’s adorable. (She takes the bear off Piper.) I guess this is really good practice for you, huh?
Piper: What are you talking about?
Prue: You, Dan, little Dan.
Piper: Whoa, slow down. Dan is the one that has our relationship on the fast track, not me. But don’t get me wrong, he’s great, but that doesn’t mean I’m ready to move in with him or anything else of that nature.
Prue: (Sarcastically) You know, I just hate guys who aren’t afraid to commit, they are so atypical.
Piper: It’s not funny, Prue, it’s a problem.
Prue: Piper, I don’t really see what the problem is. I mean, you and Dan are great together and you think that you love him, right?
Piper: I think so, it’s just every time I feel I’m ready to commit to him, I flash back to our little trip to the future and seeing me with Leo and…
Prue: Piper, Dan is here now in the present. That’s all that matters.
Piper: I know, I know. But I’m not ready for a baby shower either.
[Scene: Police station. A policeman brings in a baby. Phoebe is there talking to Morris.]
Phoebe: Come on, Morris, open your mind. This could so work.
Morris: Look, Phoebe, it’s not that I don’t appreciate your offer, it’s just my stock in this precinct is not exactly blue chip. The last thing I need is for word to get out that I’m using psychic to solve my cases.
Phoebe: So no one needs to know. You just give me the evidence, I touch it and if I get a flash then we’re in business. (She picks up a butter knife and pretends to have a premonition.) Oh my God. I see blood, flesh. You had the sausage for breakfast didn’t you?
Morris: I hate sausage.
Phoebe: Little joke.
Morris: (to the other cops who are watching) Alright, people, moving along.
(Phoebe sees the baby. It’s crying and three policemen are jiggling things above it.)
Phoebe: Who would bring a baby to a police station?
Morris: It was abandoned. Now, look, Phoebe…
Phoebe: Abandoned? That’s awful.
Morris: That’s what they call a crime. Now, Phoebe…
Phoebe: You know, they’re really scaring him waving that rattle in this face like that. (She walks over to them.) Excuse me, officers.
(She takes the rattle off an officer and sits down in front of the baby.)
Morris: Thanks, we got it from here. (They walk away.)
Phoebe: It’s okay, sweetie. It’s okay. (The baby stops crying. She notices "Matthew" embroidered on the blanket.) There you go, you’re okay. (to Morris) See, I told you I could help you. All babies need is love. (She takes him out of his capsule and holds him.) Oh, yeah. Big boy, huh? (Phoebe has a premonition of someone taking Matthew and then a ghost appears and zaps the guy.)
Morris: Phoebe, are you okay?
[Scene: Manor. Living room. Phoebe, Piper and the baby are there. Piper’s holding Matthew.]
Phoebe: So I can’t figure out if the premonition was the future or the past. If it was the past, it would make sense that they would abandon him to try to save him.
Piper: Uh, you know, I’m not really good with these things.
Phoebe: They’re called babies. Just do the rocking walk. He loves the rocking walk.
Piper: Are you sure it was a ghost?
Phoebe: Yeah, I think I know ghosts by now. I just can’t figure out why a mean ghost would want to hurt that cute little baby.
Piper: And how did you talk Darryl into letting you take him home?
Phoebe: I just told him about the premonition. The only problem is, he said we have twenty-four hours before Social Services start asking questions.
Piper: So what are we supposed to do with him now? Raise him in the ways of witchcraft? Teach him how to fight ghosts? (Matthew starts crying.) Okay, maybe you should take him. (She gives Matthew to Phoebe.)
Phoebe: That’s a good baby. A very good little baby. Okay.
(She puts Matthew in his baby capsule.)
Piper: Wow, you really are a natural at this.
Phoebe: Yeah, I can’t wait to have a baby of my own some day.
Piper: I’m beginning to think Dan fell in love with the wrong sister. (Phoebe looks at her.) Nothing. Never mind. (Piper picks up the bear she made and waves it in front of him.) Hi, sweetie, do you like bears? (Matthew throws up on the bear.)
Phoebe: Yeah, he doesn’t like things being waved in his face.
(Piper gets a towel and starts wiping Phoebe.)
Phoebe: Well, let’s do him.
(The front door opens and Prue walks in.)
Prue: This better be good because my New York trip is at stake.
(Prue notices Matthew.)
Prue: We have a baby?
Piper: Phoebe picked it up at the police station.
Prue: Okay, I-I-I thought that you were going to ask about a job, not a kid.
Phoebe: I was and I was trying and then this abandoned baby came in.
Prue: In an Eddie Bauer car seat and a blanket lined in silk?
Piper: You guys, I think he’s finally falling asleep.
Prue: Okay, I don’t get it. If the parents could afford such expensive stuff, then how come they couldn’t keep the kid?
Phoebe: I don’t think that’s why he was abandoned.
Piper: Oh no. (Matthew starts making noises.) He’s like a car alarm. Any sudden vibration just sets him off and there’s nothing you can do to stop it.
Phoebe: She’s got baby issues.
Prue: Mmm, I know.
Piper: Look, Phoebe had a vision of ghost chasing the baby.
Phoebe: And a man carrying the baby. Probably his father. Darryl said I could drop by at lunch and he could get a sketch artist to help me ID him.
Prue: Good, because the only way to find out why the ghost is after the baby by finding out who he belongs to.
Phoebe: I gotta go.
Prue: Yeah, I gotta get back to work. Just keep me posted.
(Prue and Phoebe grab their coats and bags.)
Piper: Whoa, whoa, wait. You can’t leave me here alone with him.
Phoebe: Piper, you’re gonna be fine. Don’t be afraid.
Prue: Yeah, just think of it as a test run.
Piper: I don’t need a test run. I remember when Phoebe was a baby and it was hard on mum and endless and with you dropping her all the time.
Prue: Oh, moving on, what’s the point?
Piper: The point is we need things like diapers and bottles and formulas and a million other things.
Prue: I’ll go shopping.
Phoebe: And I’m gonna go see Morris. You’re gonna be fine okay. Just do the rocking walk. Okay? You’re gonna be fine.
(Prue and Phoebe leave.)
[Scene: In a baby store. Prue has a trolley full of baby stuff. She pushes it down a diaper aisle.]
Prue: Right. (She can’t reach them as they’re on the top shelf. She looks around to make sure no one is around. She uses her power and two packets of diapers fly off the shelf and she catches them. You see Jack and a kid riding a scooter around the store. Jack sees Prue.)
Prue: Jack. Hey, what are you doing here?
Jack: Getting my ass kicked by a five year old. Hey, you little rugrat, best two out of three. Come on.
Prue: So, um, how’d you find me?
Jack: Your assistant told me. But what she didn’t tell me is what the hell are you doing here?
Prue: Oh, just a little bit of a family emergency.
Jack: And you needed diapers?
Prue: Yeah, they’re for my cousin. My baby cousin. Matthew. Just staying with us for a day or so.
Jack: And you’d by coming back to work when?
Prue: Right after I drop this stuff off and believe me, there’ll be no more interruptions after today.
Jack: Good. For a second there I thought maybe you’d changed your mind about going to New York.
Prue: Okay, wait a second. Who has been working late for the past three nights to get our presentation done?
Jack: Yeah, well, that’s before I thought we had a chance to win. So when you disappeared, I figured maybe you had second thoughts.
Prue: No, I want to go to New York. And believe me, I would much rather be at work right now then trying to figure out whether to get aloe lined or-or-or velcro tabbed or elastic leg cuff thingy diapers. You wouldn’t happen to know anything about diapers would?
Jack: Me? Noo. That would involve knowing something about babies which I know absolutely zero about. But what I do know something about is the Big Apple. Specifically romantic restaurants, hip clubs, secret getaways. Presentation’s today at three. Plane leaves tomorrow at nine. I gotta kid to catch.
(He gets back on the scooter and rides away.)
[Scene: Manor. Kitchen. Piper’s sitting on a stool watching Dan with the baby.]
Dan: This is called the jiggle. It gives the babies a nice warm moving around in the womb feeling.
Piper: You are absolutely amazing. I tried everything and nothing worked.
Dan: Well, it helps to come from a big family. Once you’ve mastered the jiggle, you’ll be able to do the wave. You wanna give it a try?
Piper: No, let’s not mess with a good thing.
(Piper watches Dan doing the sway on Matthew.)
Dan: You’re staring.
Piper: I like seeing you this way.
(Prue comes in the back door carrying bags.)
Prue: You have no idea how expensive having a baby is. So I’ll tell you. $312.46 to be exact.
Piper: No way.
Dan: Well, your timing’s perfect. Cousin Matthew needs to change.
Prue: Okay. (Prue gets a blanket out of one of the bags and lays it out on the table.) Alright, there we go. (Dan puts Matthew on the blanket and Prue starts taking his diaper off.) Oh!
Piper: Ohh, that is ripe!
Prue: What does this kid live on? Wheat grass?
Dan: I can change him.
Piper: No, no. We got it.
Prue: Alright, I got hyper-allergenic wipes, diaper rash cream and super absorbent diapers.
Piper: What are we supposed to do with the...
Prue: Just toss it.
Dan: Hey, don’t forget to clean up under his…(Matthew pees. It squirts up and Piper freezes it just in time before it hits them. Dan freezes too.)
Prue: Okay, so maybe only one of us should change him.
Piper: Be my guest.
Prue: On the count of three. Ready? One, two, three. (Piper unfreezes it and Prue uses her power to move it and it misses them.)
Dan: Boys will be boys.
(They continue changing Matthew. Prue tries to put the diaper on but it’s too small.)
Prue: Oh, it doesn’t fit, it doesn’t fit.
Dan: Probably the wrong size.
Prue: How was I supposed to know what size to get?
(Dan grabs a tea towel.)
Dan: Look, I got it.
Prue: Oh, how nice.
Dan: There we go. (He turns the towel into a diaper.) How’s that?
Piper: Wow, you're like MacGyver with estrogen.
Dan: Thanks... I think. Actually, cloth diapers are more environmentally friendly but harder to use. There, such a good boy.
Prue: (to Piper) Yes he is.
Dan: If you want, I can pick up the right size on the way home.
Piper: Thanks, that'd be great.
Dan: Not a problem.
(Dan hands Matthew to Prue.)
Prue: Oh, hi.
Dan: (to Piper) See you tonight. (He leaves.)
Prue: You know what is so weird?
(She hands Matthew to Piper.)
Prue: Is that, um...
Piper: Why are you giving him to me?
Prue: 'Cos I gotta go.
(She runs out the room.)
Piper: That's twice, I'm counting.
[Scene: Police station. Phoebe, Morris and a sketch artist are there. Phoebe's telling the sketch artist what the guy in her premonition looked like.]
Phoebe: I think his brows should be a little more arched and his hair a little lighter. (The sketch artist lightens his hair and arches his brows on the computer.) Yeah, that's better. Um, and his nose is bigger, wider.
Sketch Artist: So we looking for a murder suspect?
Morris: Just do me a favour, Hernandez. No questions.
Sketch Artist: I still need to know what to do with him when I'm done with the sketch. I mean, what? Do I put it on the wire, put out on APD or ship it to the psychic hotline?
Phoebe: Oh, wait, that's it, that's him.
Morris: Are you sure?
Morris: Print us up a copy, run it through the data base, try to get us a name. (He looks at Morris.) Just do it.
[Cut to Prue in her office. She's receiving the fax of the man. She's on the phone with Phoebe, who's still at the station.]
Prue: Gilbert Van Lewen.
Phoebe: You know him?
Prue: Well, I know the name. His family has a huge art collection, part of which they wanted to sell when his father mysteriously died last summer. Wait, I just read somewhere that his brother died a couple of days ago too.
Phoebe: So it sounds like the ghost isn't just after baby Matthew. Hey, you wanna meet me and Morris down at the Van Lewen estate? Have a little chat with Gilbert? (Prue sees Jack and a delivery guy outside her office.) It would help to have an active power there just in case the ghost shows up.
Prue: Sure. Who wants to go to New York anyway?
(They hang up. Jack comes in holding some take-away.)
Jack: Lunch is served.
[Scene: The Van Lewen's house.]
Gilbert: Alexandra, for God's sake, keep your voice down please.
Alexandra: Where's Matthew, Gilbert? What did you with him?
Gilbert: You have got to believe me. I did this for this for his own good.
Alexandra: You can't just abandon our baby. You can't just do that.
Gilbert: I had to. He would of gotten to him tomorrow at the christening, I know it. That's when he strikes. At the moment of greatest joy.
Alexandra: Okay, Gilbert, listen to me. I know that you've been under a lot of strain because of what happened to your brother, but this whole ghost thing has got to stop. Don't you understand, it's crazy. There's no such as a...
Gilbert: It's him.
(Martha comes in.)
Martha: Gilbert, you've got to get out of here now.
(The ghost appears.)
Ghost: Too late, Martha. He's next.
Martha: No, not again. I have suffered enough. Please, spare my last son.
Ghost: If he brings the baby back, perhaps.
(The ghost zaps Gilbert and he falls over the banister.)
Ghost: You're stuck here, Martha. I won't let you leave. Until you have watched me kill every last male in your family.
[Scene: Outside the Van Lewen's house. There's police and paramedics there. Prue pulls up in her car and walks over to Phoebe and Morris.]
Prue: Hey, what's going on?
Morris: Apparently Gilbert Van Lewen fell over the banister. I think the medical examiner is going to list the cause of death as accidental.
Phoebe: Sure have been a lot of accidents around here lately.
Morris: Yeah, well, welcome to homicide.
Prue: Poor Matthew.
Morris: We don't know for sure that Gilbert was his father.
Phoebe: Well, we have to find out for sure.
Morris: Whoa, hold it. Number one - this isn't my crime scene, number two - you ain't cops, remember?
Phoebe: Darryl, we can not just walk away from this.
Prue: We have to find out whether this is Matthew's home or not.
(They walk inside. There's a cop standing at the doorway.)
Morris: They're with me.
Cop: Let me guess. Your psychic friends?
Morris: Let me guess. You wanna be a metre man? Who called it in?
Cop: The victims mother. Martha Van Lewen. She's around the corner.
Morris: (to Prue and Phoebe) I'll do all the talkin to Mrs. Van Lewen. Are we clear?
(Morris walks up to Martha.)
Morris: Mrs. Van Lewen, I'm Inspector Morris. I'm terribly sorry for your loss.
Martha: Thank you.
Morris: I just have a couple of questions for you and your daughter in law.
Martha: Well, Alexandra's off resting. She's in a great deal of pain.
Morris: Of course. She's with her baby then?
Martha: No, my grandson's staying at his aunts. I'm sorry, Inspector. I really don't feel like talking.
(Phoebe and Prue walk upstairs.)
Morris: I understand and again, my sincerest condolences.
[Cut to upstairs. Prue and Phoebe walk into a baby's room. Phoebe sees a pillow with "Matthew" embroided on it.]
Phoebe: Yep, no question about it.
Prue: They must love him dearly. I can't imagine how painful it must of been to let him go.
Phoebe: We probably shouldn't mention where the baby is in case Casper's still around.
Alexandra: What are you doing in here?
Phoebe: Hi, uh, sorry. Alexandra?
Alexandra: Who are you?
Phoebe: I'm Phoebe and this is my sister Prue and we're...
Prue: Uh, grief councilors with the police department.
Alexandra: I don't need any counseling. I just need to be alone.
Prue: We understand.
Phoebe: More than you know. We can help you, Alexandra.
Alexandra: Oh yeah? Can you bring back my husband?
Prue: No, but maybe someone else.
Alexandra: Please leave. Just go.
[Scene: Manor. Kitchen. Phoebe and Prue are sitting at the table. Prue's working on her presentation and Phoebe's looking for stuff on the computer. Piper walks in holding Matthew who is crying.]
Piper: Okay, isn't it anybody else's turn? I'm dying here.
Phoebe: Just a bit longer. I had no idea there was so much information about the Van Lewen's on the internet.
Prue: Yeah, and Jack's postponed the presentation which means I've got until morning to salvage it.
Piper: I don't understand why you just didn't come out and tell them we had Matthew.
Prue: Because we couldn't risk the ghost following us home and finding him.
Phoebe: Alright, we have to figure out how to vanquish the ghost.
Prue: Yeah, in less than twelve hours before Darryl comes and takes him away.
Phoebe: The thing about ghosts is they always haunt for a specific reason and it's always personal. So I know the Van Lewen's know this ghost and I'm going to find him.
Piper: No. I'm going to find him. Okay, times up. He's all yours.
(Piper gives Phoebe Matthew. Phoebe stands up and Piper sits down.)
Phoebe: I know. It’s okay, baby, it’s okay. (Matthew continues to cry.) Why isn’t he stopping, he’s not stopping. Why isn’t he stopping?
Piper: Maybe it’s a hungry cry.
Phoebe: We just fed him.
Prue: Maybe it’s a sleepy cry.
Piper: If it is a sleepy cry, then why doesn’t he just fall asleep?
Phoebe: Maybe it’s a burpy cry. (Phoebe pats Matthew on his back and he throws up all over Prue’s presentation.)
Piper: Something tells me it’s going to be a very long night.
[Time lapse. Manor. Living room. It’s now 2:00 in the morning. Piper's reading a book, Prue's holding Matthew and Phoebe's on the computer.]
Prue: I thought that babies slept a lot.
Phoebe: Yeah, obviously one of those lies they’ll tell you so you wanna get pregnant.
Piper: So much for being the natural.
Phoebe: Hey, everyone has their limits. Anything in Dr. Spock?
Piper: Nothing that we haven’t already tried. How’s the search going?
Phoebe: Not so good. The Van Lewen’s are seriously loaded. There could be hundreds of dead people that could be holding a grudge against them.
Prue: Why don’t you just focus on the time of Martha’s husband’s death. I mean, that was the first…
(Matthew starts whimpering.)
Phoebe: What did you do?
Prue: I didn’t do anything.
Piper: Well, do something.
(Prue lays him down on his blanket and tips all her stuff out of her purse. She then uses her power and all the stuff floats above him.)
Piper: Doesn’t that fall under the personal gain category?
Prue: Oh, who cares. We’re desperate and it’s working. He likes it, that is so sweet. (He passes wind and dirties his diaper.)
Phoebe: Oh, no, not again.
[Time lapse. Prue’s holding up Matthew near the kitchen sink in his baby bath and she’s using her power to hold up the shower spray and the water is rinsing him. She finishes rinsing him and wraps him up in a blanket. Piper’s sitting at the table looking for information on the computer.]
Piper: Here, this might be something. The Van Lewen’s chauffeur, Elias Lundy, disappeared suddenly before Martha’s husband died.
Prue: Disappeared doesn’t mean dead. Maybe it just means he took off. (Prue puts Matthew in the baby capsule.)
Piper: Well, if he did, he took off without anything he owned including his saving account and his car.
Prue: Well, it’s definitely something we should ask Martha Van Lewen about.
Piper: Yeah, if she’ll talk to us.
Prue: Well, if she ever wants to get her grandson back safe, she will.
(Phoebe enters carrying the Book of Shadows.)
`Phoebe: Okay, forget Dr. Spock, this is the only book we need.
Piper: The Book of Shadows? I don’t think so.
Phoebe: Well, mum wrote spells in it, right? And with three girls there has to be something in here about, you know, how to do… (She finds a page in the Book.) Oh, here it is. "Sometimes a baby just has to cry".
Prue: Thanks Mum.
Phoebe: I don’t understand why this is so hard. We’re women, this should be in our DNA.
(Matthew starts crying. Piper freezes him.)
Piper: I can’t keep doing this all night.
[Time lapse. It’s morning. Prue, Piper and Phoebe are asleep at the table. Dan is there holding Matthew. Piper wakes up and stares at Dan.]
Piper: Just wondering if you’re too good to be true.
Dan: Maybe some day you’ll find out through personal experience. (Piper stands up.) I have to go to work. (He hands Matthew to her.)
Piper: Thanks for that.
Dan: It was my pleasure. He really is beautiful. Just like his cousin. (He kisses Piper.) Bye. (He leaves. Piper puts Matthew in his baby capsule. Prue and Phoebe wake up.)
Prue: What time is it? (She looks at the clock.) Quarter to eight, I’m late. (Prue leaves the room.)
Phoebe: I’ve gotta go to Martha Van Lewen. Piper, will you come with me?
Piper: Yeah, right behind you.
(They leave the room but then remember Matthew. Prue, Piper and Phoebe walk back into the kitchen.)
Prue: I think we forgot something.
Phoebe: What are we gonna do with him?
[Scene: Bucklands. Prue’s office. Jack enters.]
Jack: Hey. You ready to wow Cauldwell?
Prue: Well, uh, actually…
(You hear a baby and then see Matthew beside Prue.)
Jack: Do you get that through office supplies?
Prue: Okay, I had to bring him. There was nowhere else to put him and I really think that we should talk to Cauldwell about a daycare centre. I mean, I’m not the only one with a child around here.
Jack: Prue, unless you have a really big surprise for me, you don't have a kid.
Prue: I know that. But I'm going to one day. (Matthew starts whimpering.) Oh, it's okay. (She puts her pinky finger near his mouth and he sucks on it.) He only likes this finger and it took me all night to figure that out. You should see me at diapering. I'm really good at it.
Jack: Okay, you know, this mothering instinct is really something but me, I've got my own inner child and right now he's thinking about New York.
Prue: Right, um, Jack, I didn't really finish the presentation.
Jack: You know, I figured you were probably still in your family crisis, especially after your tenth non answered call. So I hope you don't mind that I took the liberty of finishing the presentation myself. Anything to get you to New York.
(Prue runs around her desk over to Jack and she jumps in his arms.)
Prue: You are the best.
(They kiss. Mr. Cauldwell walks up to the doorway.)
Mr. Cauldwell: He certainly is. And since I need my best and brightest in New York, I'm taking you out of the running, Halliwell.
Jack: Uh, Mr. Cauldwell, you know, I finished the presentation based on her file. She had a family emergency.
Mr. Cauldwell: She has a lot of those doesn't she. You'll show your presentation to the client at noon, Sheridan.
[Scene: The Van Lewen's house. Phoebe and Piper knock on the door. Martha answers it.]
Phoebe: We need to talk to you.
Martha: Are you with the police?
Phoebe: No, not really.
Piper: But we are here to help.
Martha: I don't understand.
Phoebe: Does the name Alias Lundy mean anything to you?
Alexandra: Martha, the funeral home called and they wanted to know if... (She sees Phoebe and Piper.) What are you doing here?
Phoebe: I'm here because I really need to talk to you and I think you know what about.
Martha: Who are you people? What do you want?
(Phoebe shows them a piece of cloth that has "Matthew" embroided on it.)
Alexandra: Please tell me he's okay.
Piper: Please come with us some place safe where we can talk about this.
(They hear the ghost coming.)
Martha: Oh no.
(The piece of cloth floats through the air. The ghost appears and he catches the cloth.)
Ghost: Where is the child?
Alexandra: No, please, don't tell him.
(The ghost goes to zap them but Piper freezes the lightening stuff that comes out of his hand. The ghost doesn't freeze but Martha and Alexandra does.)
Piper: He didn't freeze. Why didn't he freeze?
Ghost: What are you? Witches?
Piper: I've frozen ghosts before haven't I?
Phoebe: Okay, Piper, now is not the time. Just unfreeze them so we can get them out of here. (Piper unfreezes them.) Duck!
(They all duck and the lightening stuff fly above them.)
Piper: Let's go.
(They run through the ghost towards the door. The ghost turns around and zaps Martha. Phoebe, Piper and Alexandra run outside. The ghost tries to go outside but the house won't let him.)
Ghost: Bring me the child or she's dead.
(The door slams shut.)
Martha: Looks like I'm not the only one stuck here.
[Scene: P3. Phoebe and Alexandra are sitting at the bar. Piper's standing behind the bar pouring coffee in their cups.]
Piper: You know, you'd be a lot more comfortable at our place with your baby.
Alexandra: It's too much of a risk. As much as I am dying to see him and to hold him, I just can't.
Phoebe: I don't think the ghost can follow you or us. I mean, he couldn't chase us out of the house. I don't think he can leave the house.
Alexandra: But you're not positive. You don't know that for sure do you? I've seen what he can do. I've watched him kill my husband. I won't watch him kill my son.
Piper: It's okay. Everything's gonna be okay.
Phoebe: Now, what did your husband tell you about Elias Lundy?
Alexandra: He was their chauffeur but he was obsessed with Martha. Even carved his and Martha's initials on the largest oak. I've seen it. But one day, apparently his obsession got out of hand and Lundy attacked Martha. My father in law lured him out to that same tree and shot him in the back. Buried him on the grounds and covered it up.
Phoebe: That would explain why he suddenly disappeared.
Alexandra: A week later my father in law mysteriously died.
Piper: At the house too.
Alexandra: And then Gilberts brother, his uncle and then... They all just looked like accidents, you know, bad luck. Martha knew but she just couldn't convince anybody.
Phoebe: I don't understand why you stayed in that house. Why didn't Gilbert get you outta there?
Alexandra: Until Gilbert's brother died, he didn't believe the story either. Martha tried to sell the house once but I guess Lundy wouldn't let her. He wants her to suffer for what her husband did to him. But he's not gonna quit until he gets Matthew too.
Phoebe: Yeah, well, we won't quit until we get him. Now, do you have any idea where on the grounds Lundy's body was buried?
Alexandra: Supposedly by that tree. Underneath the initials.
[Scene: Bucklands. Outside and elevator. Prue's holding Matthew and trying to push the button. Jack runs up to her.]
Jack: Whoa, Prue. Don't touch that dial. I just came back from Cauldwell's office and I told him I couldn't of finished the presentation without the work you did and I couldn't do the job to his level without my beautiful partner. (He holds up two plane tickets.) Plane leaves in two hours. Sorry, squirt, only got two.
Prue: Kids under two fly free.
Jack: Afraid you were gonna say that. You know what? Whatever, I'm game.
Prue: Jack, that's sweet. Thank you so much for sticking up for me but I can't. I gotta get home. Sorry.
Jack: Yeah, me too. (The elevator opens and Prue walks in.) Hey, you two make a nice couple.
[Scene: Manor. Kitchen. Phoebe's making a potion. Piper walks in.]
Piper: Prue's on her way home. Whoa! That stuff could melt your nostrils.
Phoebe: Yeah, like all the diaper changing didn't melt them already. Okay, the mandrate root. (She puts some in a saucepan.) You know, I could of swarn that I'd be good at this whole baby thing. I mean, I love kids, I'm giving, I'm a good person.
Piper: Phoebe, I don't think Matthew was rejecting you personally. At least no more than the rest of us.
Phoebe: Then why do I feel like sucj a failure? Everytime I get close to the little guy, he either opens his mouth or his bowels. Call me kooky but that feels like rejection to me.
Piper: It takes a lot of time to figure out how to take care of babies properly. It's a lot of work.
Phoebe: A lot more than I thought actually.
Piper: We should be grateful we have a little time off.
Phoebe: Absolutely. (Silence.) I miss him.
Piper: It is a little quiet around here. Okay, let's just focus.
Phoebe: Okay, do you wanna get the shovels?
Piper: Uh, shovels? I thought we were vanquishing Lundy with the potion. What do we need shovels for?
Phoebe: Because the only way it works if you spread it over his bones which happen to be buried.
Piper: We have to dig him up?
Phoebe: I'm afraid so.
Piper: Is that it? Or is there some other disgusting detail you're just waiting to spring on me?
Phoebe: No. The only other way to vanquish him is to destroy the object of the curse. Which is Martha and we're supposed to save Martha. So get the shovels.
(Prue enters with Matthew.)
Piper: Hi Matthew, how's the little man?
(Phoebe and Piper start fussing over him and talk baby talk.)
Prue: Okay, I'm home too. Okay, guys are we ready?
Phoebe: Yes, we're ready. Um, I really think someone should stay here with Matthew.
Prue, Piper, Phoebe: I'll stay.
Prue: Looks like we all fell for the same guy.
(The doorbell rings. Phoebe answers it. Prue and Phoebe follow her into the foyer.)
Morris: Time's up, ladies. Social services called. They wanna know where the baby is.
Phoebe: Tell them he's with us.
Morris: Three witches and a baby. I don't think that's gonna fly.
Piper: But you can't take him now. I mean, we're this close to vanquishing...
Morris: I don't wanna hear another ghost story. In the real world that baby was abandoned which means if I don't account for him, I could lose my shield.
Prue: Not if you can offer a plausible explanation, right? I mean, what if he was kidnapped and then abandoned. You would be a hero.You would be the one reuniting him with his mum. Look, just hold off for a few hours, okay. If we're not back then do what you have to do. (She hands Matthew to Morris.) And take this. He really likes it. (She hands him a pacifier.)
Phoebe: And don't wave things in his dace because he does not like that.
Piper: But he does like the jiggle. Do you know the jiggle?
Morris: Of course I know the jiggle, I'm a father.
Prue: And if he starts to cry, just hold him really close because it comforts him. Okay, bye. (She kisses Matthew.)
Phoebe: Uh, Prue, you're not gonna wear that are you? Didn't think so. We'll meet you in the car, alright?
[Scene: The Van Lewen's house. The ghost appears.]
Ghost: You can't keep hiding from me, Martha. I'll always find you.
(He tries to zap her and she ducks.)
Martha: You can punish me all you like, Elias, it doesn't matter. I don't know where Matthew is and even if I did I wouldn't tell you. (He zaps near her again.)
[Cut to outside. Prue, Piper and Phoebe pull up in the car. They get out with the shovels and potion.]
Prue: Did she say where the oak tree was?
Phoebe: I assume around back.
Piper: Okay, you two go dig him up and I'll protect Martha for as long as I can.
[Cut to the backyard. Prue and Phoebe are searching for the tree. Phoebe finds it.]
Phoebe: Prue, over here. (They then look at the ground.) This has gotta be it. Okay, hold this. (She hands Prue a torch/flashlight. She starts digging.)
Prue: Uh, Pheebs, I think I have a much quicker way of doing that.
Phoebe: Oh, yeah, you do don't you. Okay.
Prue: You ready?
Phoebe: Uh huh. (Prue uses her power and the dirt and Elias' skeleton lifts up out of the ground.) Hello, Elias.
[Cut back in the house. The ghost is zapping Martha.]
Ghost: There are many things worst than death, Martha. You taught me that. (He stops zapping her.) I can keep doing this forever. (He starts zapping her again. Piper enters the room and freezes it.)
Piper: I don't think so.
Ghost: Bring me the child and I'll spare you.
Piper: Actually I think it's a little late for that.
[Cut back to Prue and Phoebe. Prue's hitting Elias' bones with the shovel.]
[Cut back inside. The ghost yells in pain.]
Ghost: My bones. My grave! (He disappears.)
[Cut back to outside. Prue takes the off the lid of the bottle of potion.]
Prue: Alright, here goes.
(The ghost appears near a window and he zaps near Prue and Phoebe. They scream and fall to the ground. Elias' bones go back into the ground.)
Ghost: Can't vanquish me without my bones can you?
Phoebe: Oops, busted.
(They get up and run away.)
[Scene: The Van Lewen's house. Prue and Phoebe run through the front door.]
Prue: Piper, where are you?
(They run upstairs.)
Prue: Have you seen Lundy?
Piper: What do you mean? Didn't you vanquish him?
Phoebe: Uh, no, and it doesn't look like we'll ever be able to. He's hidden his bones some place that we'll never be able to find them.
Martha: Then you have to get out of here now.
Piper: No, we're not going anywhere.
Martha: You haven't got a choice if there's no other way to stop him.
(Prue, Piper and Phoebe look at each other.)
Piper: It's not an option.
Martha: What? What is it? I think I have a right to know.
Phoebe: It's just that there is one other way to vanquish a ghost. And that is to destroy the object of its wrath.
Martha: Meaning me? Are you saying that if I die he dies too?
Piper: No. Our job is to protect the innocent and that would be you.
Martha: No, it isn't. It wasn't my husband who shot Elias in the back. It was me, I did it. He wanted me for himself. He said he was going to kill my husband.
(The ghost appears.)
Ghost: Yet I did didn't I. How could you, Martha? I loved you.
Martha: I didn't love you.
Ghost: They can't protect you forever.
Martha: You're absolutely right. But I can protect Matthew.
(Martha runs out of the room and falls over the banister.)
Prue: Martha, no!
Ghost: No! (Martha's spirit floats out of her body up to where Elias is.) Martha, what have you done?
Martha: Killed us both. Go to hell, Elias. (A hole opens up in the floor and flames come out of it. Elias starts burning and he disappears in the hole. The hole closes up.)
Piper: Uh, what do we do?
Martha: Don't do anything. This is where I belong. This is where I belong. This is the only way to save my grandchild. Thank you for protecting him. (She disappears.)
[Scene: Manor. Kitchen. The song "I Love You" by Martina McBride is playing while you watch Prue, Piper and Phoebe washing Matthew in his baby bath. Then you see them drying him and dressing him.]
[Scene: Police station. Alexandra and Morris are waiting for Prue, Piper and Phoebe to arrive.]
Morris: There they are.
(They walk in. Phoebe's holding Matthew. Alexandra walks over to them and takes Matthew off Phoebe.)
Piper: Here, we wanted you to have this but we couldn't get all the throw up off of it.
(She hands her a blanket and the bear she knitted.)
Alexandra: Oh, that's okay. You're all so sweet. How can I thank you?
Phoebe: Just let us baby sit every once in a while.
Prue: Take good care of him.
(They kiss Matthew goodbye and leave.)
[Scene: P3. Prue, Piper and Phoebe are at the bar.]
Phoebe: So how many kids do you think I'm going to have one day?
Prue: I'd say five.
Piper: More. At least six.
Phoebe: Ow. What makes you say that?
Piper: Oh, please Pheebs, you were born to be a mum.
Prue: No doubt about it.
Phoebe: Yeah, you think? I miss that little guy already. Although being a surrogate mum for the last twenty-four hours has taught me I have a long way to go before I'm ready for it full-time. I gotta get my life together first.
Prue: Yeah, find a guy maybe?
Phoebe: That might help, huh? Unlike Piper's guy who is like Mr. Mum.
Prue: Yeah, Dan was really great with Matthew wasn't he?
Phoebe: More like a godsend.
Piper: Yeah, I think that's what scares me. He's like, flawless. He's great at everything. He's great looking, fun, he's great with babies.
Piper: But I don't know. He's just a little too perfect. I feel a little imperfect around him.
Phoebe: Well, maybe that's why you were uncomfortable with Matthew. Maybe because of Dan you were resisting your own maternal instincts.
Prue: Where did that come from?
Phoebe: Cosmo, where else? Look over there, there's Jack.
Phoebe: Yeah, Jack.
Piper: Jack who?
(Piper and Phoebe make noises at Prue. Prue walks over to Jack.)
Prue: Why aren't you in New York?
Jack: I didn't wanna go without my partner. I don't want you to think this gesture of mine is in any way of a sign of you involving maturity, in case having your cousin Matthew around given you any ideas.
Prue: No, the only idea I have is that one day, maybe sooner, maybe later, I'm gonna make a great mum. And you know, hopefully I'll find the right guy.
Jack: Well, I think you should know that being as I'm still a kid myself, I don't think I'd be doing anyone any favours by pretending to be the right guy.
Prue: Well, I didn't say I was looking for the right guy tonight. You'll do. Let's dance.
(They walk on the dance floor and start dancing.)