Animal Pragmatism

From Charmed

Darryl and the girls outside of P3.

Animal Pragmatism is the 35th episode of Charmed.

[edit] Episode Information

Season 2

Episode No. 13

Written By Chris Levinson and Zack Estrin

Directed By Don Kurt

Production No. 4399034

Original Airdate February 10, 2000

[edit] Summary

On Valentine’s Day, Phoebe without knowing help the girls in her college study group with a love spells to turn three animals into men for a romantic evening. Unfortunately, the men retain dangerous animalistic qualities and begin attacking innocent students. While Janice Robinson performs at the club, Phoebe accidentally creates a real zoo when her attempt to reverse the spell turns all her patrons into animals. Meanwhile Prue tries to adjust to her new unemployed lifestyle, and Piper’s Valentine’s Day dinner with Dan is complicated by the constant presence of her former guardian angel turned mortal, Leo, who is now working at the club.

[edit] Plot

A professor lectures in a biology class on mating rituals. Behind Phoebe, thee girls are reading a book titled Bewitched. It's a book of supposed love spells. Phoebe "corrects" one of the spells, and claims to be doing a paper on the growing popularity of witchcraft. She hands them a flyer for a Valentine's Day party at P3. Phoebe asks a boy, Ethan, to come with her to P3.

The three girls have brought together a snake, a rabbit and a pig within a circled pentagram in their dorm room, and say the spell from the book. Nothing happens, but Andrea has recorded Phoebe's voice. She plays back Phoebe's version of the spell, and the three animals turn into hunky naked men.

Prue is adjusting to her new unemployment. Dan wants to have dinner with Piper on Valentine's Day, which would conflict with her party at P3.

Pig Man has eaten everything in the refrigerator and is still hungry. Rabbit Man has just gotten horizontal with Andrea. The three animal-men step out into the hall, to funny looks from everyone else. They steal a laundry basket from a passing student and dress themselves.

At P3, Leo offers Piper a small pile of flowers; he has no money or ID, but wanted to offer Piper what he can. He is working (and sleeping) at P3, and Piper is paying him under the table. Dan appears with a huge bouquet. Dan is slightly jealous, as Piper had called Leo's name and not his when she was healed ("Awakened"), and she seems "different" when Leo is around.

Prue, bored, uses her power to shift a flowerpot on a mantle.

The three animal-men go out and Pig Man trashes a hot dog stand. Phoebe spots Rabbit Man getting aggressive with a woman and she confronts him, and gets a premonition of Snake Man biting a woman's neck. Rabbit Man runs and jumps up a very high wall.

Tessa is getting cold feet about the spell. Reentering their room, they find the animal-men. The animal-men have found the spell and have decided that they want to stay human. They menace the three girls and Brooke shows them the flyer for P3. Andrea has the class roster and knows where Phoebe lives. Snake Man sees that Tessa is a possible problem and grabs hold of her.

Phoebe and Piper look for cards. They tease each other as they read several cards. Phoebe spots the Bewitched book and realizes that the three girls in her class have possibly cast her spell. She leaves, looking for Prue, as Piper checks out a few more cards. In the next aisle, Leo is also looking for a card.

Piper enters P3, which is not yet open, and finds no one; but she does find a path marked by rose petals. It leads to a curtained booth where Dan is waiting. He has bought a bottle of "Piper Red Label" wine. Piper tries to hide the card she is carrying. Dan asks, "Is that for me?" Piper just hands the card over, and it says, "To a dear friend on Valentine's Day". Dan suspects that the card is for Leo. Dan feels somewhat jealous, and Piper decides she'd rather work.

Rabbit Man breaks the door at the manor. Andrea and Brooke want to leave. Snake Man is starting to moult, Rabbit Man is growing claws and Pig Man is sprouting hooves. The three are after Phoebe and so Snake Man bites Andrea and Brooke. This makes Pig Man feels squeamish, and Snake Man and Rabbit Man break his neck.

Phoebe and Prue go to the three girls' room, where they briefly meet Ethan. They hear a scream from a closet, and inside they find Tessa bound, gagged, and in a small cage. Tessa tells the two sisters what she and her friends had done. Phoebe looks for some hydrogen peroxide for Tessa's wounds; she opens a cupboard, and Pig Man's corpse falls out. Tessa tells the sisters that the others want to stay human and are looking for Phoebe at P3.

Snake Man and Rabbit Man drag a driver out of his car and steal it. They dump Brooke and Andrea into the trunk and drive off.

At P3, Ethan looks for Phoebe, who has not arrived. Dan arrives and Piper tells him she's "running late." Prue and Phoebe ask Leo to watch Tessa. The three sisters move into the curtained booth to cast a spell, to turn Snake Man and Rabbit Man back to animals, as Snake Man and Rabbit Man sniff through the crowd for Phoebe. Darryl appears and tells them of a string of violent crimes from the campus to P3. Tessa says Andrea and Brooke aren't around, and then she spots Snake Man and Rabbit Man. Darryl tries to confront the two, but Prue astral-projects and urges him not to. Just in time, Phoebe completes the spell.

Phoebe casts the spell, and finds that she has turned everyone into animals.

The sisters find Snake Man and Rabbit Man, which are now snake and rabbit, and load them into crates. Piper freezes the room and leaves the room with Prue, each carrying a crate, while Phoebe tries to reverse the spell. Piper and Prue find the stolen car with Brooke and Andrea inside. Phoebe reverses the spell, but unfortunately Snake Man and Rabbit Man are now permanently human. They attack the two sisters, and Piper freezes them while the police arrive.

Phoebe spends the rest of the evening with Ethan, and he finds a feather in her hair.

Piper finds a card from Leo.

[edit] Special Musical Guest

Janice Robinson

[edit] Co-Stars

Richard Wharton as Professor
Amber Skalski as Girl
Benton Jennings as Concerned Citizen

[edit] Featured Music

"Nothing I Would Change" by Janice Robinson

"Finally Taking Over" by Janice Robinson

"Search For Love" by Janice Robinson

"I Promise You" by Judith Owen

[edit] Notes

The episode title is in reference to the term "Animal Magnetism", a phrase referring to a primal attraction between two people.
This is the first time it's mentioned that Darryl is married. Piper remarks to Darryl that he might be at her club for a romantic evening with his wife.
One of the turned animals is a rabbit. In human form he is rather violent. This echoes the re-appearing "bunny-joke" in "Buffy the Vampire Slayer", where bunnies are considered dubious creatures ("Bunnies can take care of themselves").

• This the only episode in the entire series were the Book of Shadows isn't seen.

[edit] Quotes

Andrea, Tessa, Brooke: "From strike of twelve count twenty-four, that's how long the spell is for, turn these gifts into a mate, and then my lonely heart abate."

(Nothing happens.)

Tessa: Okay, that was fun. Can I go now?

Andrea: Wait, didn't Phoebe say some of the words were wrong?

Brooke: Why don't you call her?

Andrea: I don't have to. The power of technology. (She gets her tape recorder and plays it.)

Phoebe's voice: No dates required. (Andrea rewinds the tape.) From strike of twelve count twenty-four, that's how long the spell is for, if to abate my lonely heart, enchant these gifts I thee impart.

(A bright light and smoke fill the room. Then the animals turn into three naked men.)

Piper: How's it feel to be footloose and office free?

Prue: Amazing. You know what I'm gonna do today?

Piper: What?

Prue: Absolutely nothing.

Piper: Really? Really, Prue? Nothing entails physically doing nothing, thinking about nothing and worrying about nothing, as suppose to your sister here who's so in the middle of something.

Prue: Okay, sweetie, what is wrong?

Piper: Well, for starters there is tomorrow. (Prue doesn't know what she's talking about.) Valentines Day.

Prue: Wow, I completely forgot. See? I'm doing nothing already.

( In P3. Prue walks in. Piper's wrapping Dan's present.)

Prue: Oh, we so have to cancel your Martha Stewart subscription. (She sits down.)

Piper: When I start making flower boxes out of milk cartons, then you can shoot me.

Prue: So, um, do you need help with anything?

Piper: What happened to doing nothing?

Prue: I'm finished.

Piper: You can't finish doing nothing.

Prue: So then how do you know when you're done?

Prue: Any sign of him?

Piper: Well, I've been watching that one who came in looking for Phoebe but he doesn't seem so creepy. (They look at Ethan.)

Prue: Yeah, the only magic Phoebe wants to work on him is personal. That's her date.

Piper: Oh. Why do we seem to have a habit of gathering our men at the scene of the supernatural smack down?

Phoebe: It's part of our charm. (Morris arrives.)

Darryl: Hey, ladies.

Piper: Hey, Darryl. Please tell me you're here for a nice romantic evening with your wife.

Darryl: No, that'd be what I'm late for.

Piper: Join the club.

[edit] External links

Charmed DVD Information about the Charmed DVD sets.

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